Life is indeed a balancing act. Blessed with a wonderful family and career I oftentimes feel pulled in two- usually more like five- directions. My husband and I have a unique schedule right now while he is finishing up grad school. Two days a week he is the main care taker of our son and I am able to work from home, uninterrupted, during that time. The rest of week I’m mainly mommy, but always sneaking in work between nap time, the 2 mornings a week play group, and if I have any energy left in the evenings. Let’s not forget trying to maintain a tiny, but necessary, social like, plus shopping, cooking cleaning and having Shabbat guests. There is more but I don’t want to exhaust myself just thinking about all my various duties. But, like I said, all these things are a blessing (and having a very helpful husband makes everything much more manageable!). I am thrilled with this stage of life and am enjoying every minute.
But sometimes its hard to balance it all and prioritize. I always dreamed of being stay at home mom while my children were young, just like my mother did. It has been such a joy being home and seeing my son grow and witnessing every milestone. Somehow though I realized that my little part time job had somehow developed into an actual career. But I wanted to postpone this career thing until the kids were all in school! Now what? I love the work I do and I’m beginning to see the value of being a working mom- you truly learn to enjoy your time with your kids once you are done working for the day! And let’s not forgot how nice it is to be part of the bread winning team.
So now I’m working on striking a balance. Some weeks are easier than others, depending on the needs of work and home that week, and other weeks I’m not sure what I’m doing. The funny this is is that once I get used to the current situation I know everything will change again. So, I’m learning to be flexible and thank G-d its coming together. I’m learning how to multitask and make sure I’m taking care of me all at the same time. At the end of the day my family always takes precedence and I’m thankful that I have other outlets to keep my brain from turning to mommy mush.
I really enjoy listening to Rebbetzin Heller’s Q&A series on Naaleh.com where she discusses how, as women, we can Achieve a Balance in life. In this class she addresses a number of interesting questions from the Naaleh students, one question in particular about how woman connect to their role in the home: 
Comments on: "Trying to Reach a Balance" (4)
Nice post!
I’m also a working Jewish mommy of little kids and I find that the biggest challenge is not finding the time to spend with my kids, but to actually really be with them during those hours. My head is often spinning from my busy workday, and my patience for getting on the floor and playing is not so great. Since I work from home, my home is not a refuge but a buzzing center of work. I struggle with this a lot. The goal for me is to be able to enjoy being with my kids when I am with them. I haven’t really figured this out yet!
And like you say – taking care of you is so important in this complex equation.
Thanks so much for your comment Naomi! I know how it is trying to separate work from home you work from home. I would think the type of work you do might this as well. I really love my job and think this helps me transition since I’m not upset or stressing over the work, I am able to just leave it. Where in your home do work? I think having a separate place just for work may help make the transition to mommy. I’ve also ready in various places about exercises you can do post work to help relax you and transition to being with the family. Examples of relaxtion that work for me are deep breathing/meditation, listening to music, venting to my husband (letting him vent to me as well) about anything from the day I may be hung up on, etc. Have you tried doing anything like that? Also, getting involved in a particular activity may ‘force’ you to be in the present with your children. My son and I like to put on music and dance around together. This is a great way to have fun together plus blow off steam from work- not to mention bonus exercise which is highly necessary when working at a computer all day long.
I think that you expressed the feelings of many a Jewish mommy in this post! Even though I’m not working from home, I still find it challenging to strike a balance between maintaining the home, spending quality time with the boys (and, like Naomi said, really be with them), recharging my own batteries and preventing the mommy-brain as well!
Sometimes I feel like having so much “free time” works against me, as I don’t have the feeling of urgency to accomplish things around the house. Also, the lack of external validation can be tricky.
That said, I’m so so SO happy to be where I am, and I know that it’s a luxury to be able to stay home like I do, so I’m working on improving the balance, and to find ways to better appreciate my unique role as a Jewish woman.
Rivki, its such an interesting point you make about how too much time almost causes you not to have quality time. Before I was working more hours I remember feeling this way also, and even feeling guilty when not giving full attention to my son while doing housework. Rebbetzin Heller actually addressed this issue in one of her Q&As (I forget which one right now, sorry. I’ll try and get back to you about that.) on Naaleh.com. She says how back in the old country shtetl times women were busy all day long with housework. They had to fetch the water from the well, make their own bread from scratch etc. They most likely did not get down on the floor and play with their children very often. We are fortunate to have many conveniences today but there is still much to be done (does the laundry ever end?!). So once we recognize this then maybe we need to actually have a set time that we will forget the housework and get down on the floor to build blocks. Like today, I finished eating lunch and was about to clean up, when my son asked me to play with him. So, instead of telling him ‘after mommy cleans the dishes she will play with you’, I just said ‘yes I would love to play with you’ and I spent 15 minutes giving undivided attention to him. The dishes waited until after we played and it was much more satisfying cleaning up knowing that my son and I just bonded. I hope that helps!
Keep up the comments everyone! I love hearing from you!